MY EVIL SIDEKICK WHO WILL KICK YOU IN THE SIDES:

LOCO DESTRUCTO IS THE NAME OF MY SIDEKICK.
LOCO DESTRUCTO IS A GOOD SIDEKICK WHO HELPS WASH MY CAR!
NOW I WILL ALLOW HIM TO SAY A FEW WORDS BEFORE I STUFF HIM
BACK INTO THE SEAWEED CAGE I KEEP HIM IN EVERY NIGHT...
HE LIKES IT THOUGH BECAUSE I FEED HIM THE PENGUINS.
OK NOW MY LOCO SIDEKICK DESTRUCTO WILL SPEAK:

HELLO I AM LOCO DESTRUCTO. EL SERPENTO SAY THAT I AM SIDEKICK BUT HE IS MORE WRONG THAN A BUCKET OF LIES ABOUT THIS. I AM NO ONE'S SIDEKICK OR EVEN ROUNDHOUSE KICK OR ANYTHING ELSE DONE WITH A HUMAN FOOT (WITH TOES). WE ARE MORE LIKE WRESTLING LIFE PARTNERS THAN KICKS THAT GO SIDEWAYS TOGETHER.

I AM YELLING AT YOUR FACE NOW BECAUSE THAT IS THE LUCHA WAY. WE YELL IN THE FACES OF THE WORLD DWELLERS SO THAT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND STRUGGLE TIMES IN THE RING OF LIFE IF THEY OPPOSE US. AND YELLING WITH YOUR MOUTH MAKES IT EASIER TO HEAR YOURSELF IN CROWDED SUBWAY WHEN TO SINGING ALONG WITH WORLD'S BEST LEADING BAND BANANARAMA.

ALSO, EL MATEMATICO MAKES LIES TO YOU, FAIR FOLK PEOPLE OF RICHMOND VIRGINIA. HE IS NO SAVIOR IN PROTECTOR TIMES, AND HE CANNOT EVEN ADD SO BIG LIKE HE PRETENDS FOR. HE DOES OKAY UNTIL HE GETS TO THE ADVANCED ALGEBRA, AND THEN LET ME TELL YOU SOME TRUTHFUL HAPPENINGS, RICHMOND, HE JUST SORT OF FALLS APART LIKE LEGO HOUSE KICKED TO PIECES BY OLDER BROTHER.

EL SERPENTO AND I ARE TRUE CITY PROTECTORS OF RICHMOND VIRGINIA. FOR WHO TO BETTER PROTECT CITY THAN HIGH TIME CRIMINAL LUCHA? WHEN EL SERPENTO AND I WORK IN CITY 9-5 REGULAR CRIME JOBS, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET, RICHMOND. EL MATEMATICO THINK HE CHASE AWAY OLD CRIME BUT INSTEAD BRING YOU MYSTERY BAG OF NEW CRIMES, RICHMOND!

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